The danger of going commando.....

Following my tennis game and having showered we decided to eat locally again and as it was very hot and humid i decided to do without underwear. On reaching our destination and as my body was beginning to seize up we decided to have another massage each. We avoided Charlie Chaplins massage parlour in favour of another establishment which offered a total body massage with aloe vera (one hour £8) which seemed great...what happened then went a bit like this.....
Thai girl "sawadee ka mister....you take your shorts off please....what..you not wearing any underwear...whoaaa...SEXY MAN....ha ha!"
Whilst Nik disrobed to underwear next to me this girl insisted i got bollock naked or no massage could take place so i complied...
"OHH YOU VERY SEXY MAN MISTER!!" she kept saying as she slapped aloe vera gel around my groin area and massaged the area vigourously (though i must say she never touched the crown jewels) and it took great willpower not to respond in a masculine way to her efforts. Nik was laughing the whole time in the bed next to me . My girl either wanted a big tip or was in need of lazer eye surgery
"you 45  years mister? Ohh....chest hair...SEXY SEXY!!"
One hour later my ordeal was over...a great massage actually and a lot of fun.
After that we had meal, a few beers then bed.
Next day (mon) we spent the morning by the pool and at 4pm there was a wedding on the beach at the resort...the family was from New Zealand but it was far too hot in the dress i am sure.
At 6pm at beach bar was an hours free cocktails so we were there and consuming vodka and gin like it was going out of fashion and at 7.45 and rather unsteady got a taxi to a place called Fishermans Village which is a lovely seaside area with nice shops, eateries, etc etc and very lively. We ate at a place called The Shack which was recommended and it was buzzing. For the first time this holiday i did not eat local food as they speciaslised  in steaks and flew in chilled australian prime meat....we both had medium rare fillet.....i dont think we have ever had it better!!
On way back to get taxi we saw one of those places where the fish clean and get hard skin off your feet so we had a go each. What a strange and slightly  uncomfortable event....the fish looked like UK loach with a sucker rather than teeth..they were called gassa rura fish i think...dont think will be doing that again.